By Sgt. Myles Willington
The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. The name is SGT. Myles Wilington. I carry a badge. I’m a cop.
I was asked for my report of a recent theft that happened on the set of a major motion picture. Here is my report:
1100 – Arrived on scene and immediately shot off a rat that was attacking a homeless man’s head.
1108 – Realized the rat was, in reality, the man’s attempt at a wig.
1130 – Conducted an investigation and discovered that the homeless man had stolen a wallet and was hiding it and was also suspected of hiding a huge 18 inch (omitted) that he got from a sex store dumpster.
1200 – Homeless man arrested. Offers (omitted) jobs for release, but offer is declined.
End Report
