Hosted by James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. I was walking out of my high rise to the streets of the Big Apple when I stopped by some soy boy, EBT warrior, scumbag slime and he said “where’s your mask?” Really? Really? Nice try fella. YA HEARD!
I hit the coffee shop and those ASSCLOWNS wanted me to sit outside with my coffee. Well, thankfully, my friend, the LEGENDARY Taylor Hicks of American Idol fame came in and when he talks, people listen. That “Soul Patrol” is still popular to this day. YA HEARD!
As Hicks rambled on about this and that, I checked the emails on my phone and could not believe my eyes. In one day, I got sixty trillion emails. So, I am going to take time out of my busy schedule to respond to some of these questions that y’all have.
BIDEN OR TRUMP?
James, firstly, I want to say that you are the best writer in the world and I am happy to say that I met you in 2017 when you won the BEST WRITER IN THE UNIVERSE award. I was shocked that I got in with it being nearly sold out. Anyway, Trump hasn’t conceded the election yet. What do you think will happen? Is there a Kraken to beat Biden?
Fatsal Gayfe
Fatsal,
I remember you player. You were the guy that wore all that cheap cologne and holding that magazine RUMP, if I remember correctly. Now, as far as Biden? That old geek chump is trying to steal it and y’all will see when my boy, Trump, gets justice, that he will still be running the show. Everyone and their fat mamas know that they cooked the books to get the numbers to steal the election. Look for Trump to shove Uncle Sam’s cock down Biden’s throat. YA HEARD!
GROOVY TIME OR MOVIE SLIME?
James,
I got contacted by some filmmaker that said that he knew Quentin Tarantino and had all sorts of money, but then I realized he lived in a trailer and had a long criminal history to boot! He actually robbed a sperm bank of all things! I was shocked. He was a hillbilly mother fucker too and fat. Did I mention fat? I should probably mention fat, but he was quite fat. He also said that he knew Peter Jackson but he obviously only knows Snickers bars. So, I guess my question is: Do I take a chance on a hillbilly in a trailer that doesn’t have a job and claims to know big names in Hollywood or should I not?
Confused in PA
Yo, check this out. Quentin Tarantino is my boy and I know he would never associate with a hillbilly mother fucker. Back away quickly because if he robbed a sperm bank, he might try to take your load right down the throat. YA HEARD!
COVID-19 LOCKDOWN
James! You are so fucking awesome. I read your work all the time and met you once, but it was tough because so many people were crowding around you. Speaking of crowds, I’m so sick of wearing a mask in public. Now you have all these politicians out there locking everything down again. What do you think of this lockdown?
Dougina Ginger
Dougina, these lockdowns are a joke. I am out of New York and I see that shit all the time from these human butt plugs. YA HEARD! This is getting old. These toilet paper zombies are coming out of the cracks again and these scumbags are trying to tell me how to spend my holidays? Well, they can suck my sack. I’m having mad gatherings and guess what…masks are optional! YA HEARD!
