By James
OMG! I was hanging out with my lady friends and began listening to the soundtrack to the LION KING and one of the girls said “James, Elton dropped dead,” and I could not believe it. I thought he was still standing, but apparently he was called to the concert in the sky and I was devastated. Elton and I used to hang and bang back in the day and we would party like mother fuckers. So, I picked up my cellular phone and gave my boy, Elton, a call and he was alive and well and was not happy that some soy boy, cellar dweller, EBT warrior was talking shit about him.
Elton had the following to say about this death hoax:
“That soy boy, EBT warrior, scumbag asshole wants to bend me over and give me the rocket man? Well, I’m not dead. I am still standing and this whole situation has made me very sad. I guess that’s why they call it the blues. Can you feel the love tonight….more like can you feel getting bent over and split like firewood tonight! I want to make more Snickers commercials and now that they think I’m dead, they’ve lost their nuts. James, please take care of these jokers. I’m ready to shove my candle in the wind up their ass.”
I got this one Elton.
