By Polly “News” Hughes
Do you ever hear anything good coming from Florida? There is something wrong with that state and the madness continues with the story from Panama City where Brian Garmon, a man that bought a Whopper from Burger King, bit into a cockroach.
I don’t eat at Burger King. It used to be high schoolers working there and they were smiling and happy to be making money, but now you have a bunch of complete shitheads in their forties, defeated and miserable. They want 15/hour? They need a boot in the ass.
So, Garmon said he was “pretty upset” that he got a roach in his burger, but the home of the Whopper were willing to give him another burger. Really? A roach in the first one. You complain and they’ll put two roaches in the next and rub their balls on it too.
Since I’m not an expert in burgers, I contacted my good friend, Don Gorske, a man that has eaten a Big Mac every day since 1972. He had the following to say: “That chump should have eaten a Big Mac or a Big Cock…whatever. Whoppers are disgusting shit meat that probably need roaches to add flavor. The burger king takes it hard and Ronald McDonald is bending him over sideways every which way but loose!” (Comments are awaiting confirmation that it was from Don Gorske.)
I also spoke to “The Subway Guy” Jared Fogle and he said the following: “Please help. Too many footlongs in here.”
As you can see, eat Whoppers at your own risk.
