Reviewed by Geno McGahee
I recently watched NIGHTMARE ALLEY, a fun micro-budget backyard anthology. It had heart and was relatively amusing. I am a fan of micro-budget and considering how much his other anthology amused me, JUNKFOOD HORRORFEST had a lot of promise.
We begin with a junkie buying drugs only to discover that she was given a VHS tape. She decides to kill the dealer but then watch the movie. We then get introduced to the host played by Scarlet Fry, and it is one of the most annoying and unfunny characters in microbudget history. He struggles to get the southern drawl out and although the look of the character is decent, the delivery of the lines and the accent is terrible.
We begin with a story about a fat guy that goes to a laundry at his apartment building and meets a girl and brings her back to his place, only to attack her and eat her. The end. That is the story. A common thread throughout this film is that there really is no plot to the stories. It seems like somebody said: “This is a cool scene” and then they filmed it and called it a tale.
The next tale we see is shot in black and white and features a nurse pushing around a patient in a wheelchair. A man with a sniper rifle shoots and kills the man and the nurse dances around and gets into the snipers car and they take off. That is that tale. I was scratching my head at this point. What did I get myself into putting this into my DVD player?
The next tale amused me, but it wasn’t necessarily good. We have some skateboarders that are looking to score some weed, when one of them come up with an idea. They go to a parking garage and meet up with a flamboyant gay guy that wants his bare ass spanked with skateboards and if they do it, they get ten dollars each. I did find this rather amusing. When two of the skateboarders start to insult the idea man about how gay it was, he begins to snap. His girlfriend harasses him about it as well, which prompts him to kill the gay guy and then come home and kill his gal as well. This was the best tale, but there still wasn’t much substance to it at all.
We have a guy that lies in bed, doesn’t answer the phone, brushes his teeth, fills the tub and then slits his wrists. The end.
SCARLET FRY’S JUNKFOOD HORRORFEST was a huge disappointment. The storytelling here is incredibly bad. The acting is as bad as it gets, and you get a lot of profanity that is distracting. The editing of this film is very poor as well. When Scarlet says his piece, there is a pause there where he just looks at the camera and waits. It’s an awkward pause and the bad editing is everywhere. The conversations are hurt with the piss poor editing…this film had no chance, even if it was written well. The positive thing I can say is that NIGHTMARE ALLEY was good and was made after this…so they are improving, but this movie is terrible.
Scared Stiff Rating: 1/10. Very disappointing.
