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Hack (2007)
Reviewed by Melissa McGahee – June 10, 2008
"I don't sweat you." - J.T. Bates (Burt Young)
Emily (Danica McKellar) is a geeky shy college student with a large crush on Johnny (Jay Kenneth Johnson). As luck would have it, they get to spend more time together as they sail away on a field trip for their biology class. Purposefully and admittedly they are joined by the standard stereotypical horror bunch. There’s the slut Maddy (Adrienne Frantz), the jock Tim (Travis Schuldt), the flamboyant gay guy Ricky (Justin Chon), the lax black guy Q (Won-G) and the other near-silent girl Sylvia (Gabrielle Richens). Soon, the bunch meets J.T. Bates (Burt Young), the captain of the small vessel bringing them to their destination. As they arrive they are greeted by the couple they’ll be staying with. Vincent (Sean Kanan) and Mary Shelley (Juliet Landau) are extreme horror film buffs. Their entire house is decked out in posters from scary movies. Mary Shelley, obsessed with filming, even carries a camera around with her and tapes the bunch as they exit the boat.
Almost instantly the casualties begin to mount as someone lurking around and mimicking horror movies begins to kill. They pay tribute to “The Shining,” “IT,” “The Ring” among others. It’s a valiant effort. The acting is above par. The characters diverse enough to stand out. The plot is a unique one. Still something missing.
For starters, the best character J.T., is killed right off the bat. This may have been sole due to the fact that the film could only afford Young for a few short scenes. Still, Burt Young is such an asset to the production they should have found some way to utilize him more. He has always had such a flare and the ability to command attention. He is an outstanding dramatic actor who brought to life one of the most memorable characters ever put to screen. In fact, in all six of the Rocky productions Paulie stood out as my personal favorite character. Young’s talent helped showcase the constant internal battle within Paulie to become a better person and never quite measuring up. He’s also no stranger to the horror genre. In the sequel to Amityville Horror, he took the lead and did a marvelous job. As J.T. it was easy to quickly get attached to the character as Young brought out his humorous side. So what would possess the creators of “Hack” to secure such an asset and then only utilize him for such a short time? It’s such a letdown while watching the production to see him get killed so quickly.
Another Rocky alumni was brought in and again sadly underutilized. Tony Burton who played Duke, the corner man during the entire series portrays Sheriff Stoker. Stoker is a solid character that adds integrity and respectability to the plot. In one single scene we are blessed with seeing both J.T. and Stoker have a friendly and comical exchange. There’s even a not-so-subtle “Rocky” reference which will make any fan smile. If only these two were able to be the leads in the production “Hack” would have been a great entry to the genre. They could have been the heroes who ran out to rescue the victims! That would have been a film worth watching. Instead, they’re barely on which is just so aggravating.
Here unfortunately what we have is somewhat of a mess. The murders are done in a fashion that screams ‘whodunit’ though for the most part, the killers are known. Though the killings are interesting there isn’t a moment of tension or anxiety created. There was absolutely no atmosphere created. Again, if Young and Burton were placed in the forefront this would have been far different. The duo could have carried the film with ease.
As for the film, there’s one moment that attempted to be a shock but it was easy to predict. Though the attempts at comedy are quite funny, the horror portion of the film falls flat.
William Forsythe who is usually wonderful portrayed an unsalvageable character. Willy who has an Irish accent and is somewhat of a dark hero, seems out of place and doesn’t add anything.
McKellar does do well in the lead and works well with what she was given, but unfortunately she couldn’t overcome the unevenness of the production.
Scared Stiff Rating: 4.5/10. Why’d they have to kill Paulie?
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