By Geno McGahee
David Banner (Bill Bixby) has a serious problem. When he gets pissed off, he turns into this angry green monster that beats the shit out of people and breaks everything in sight. He has proven time and time again that he does not need a lot of provocation to turn into the Hulk. He can just have a bad day. I wish I had this problem. I would like to black out and awake to find my boss beaten to a pulp.
If you have this problem, why would you fly? You know that air travel can be frustrating…more frustrating than changing a tire, yet Banner turned into the Hulk when he was having trouble doing just that. As the Hulk, he actually flipped the entire car into a ditch, upside down just because the tire was being difficult. He could have called AAA, but he elects instead to let his anger get the best of him.
I guess Banner had to do what he had to do. He had to make it to Chicago to find one a doctor that may have the cure to his problem. So, to make it there before the good doctor leaves for Europe, he must fly. Unfortunately, the captain/pilot has ulterior motives. He along with a stewardess are very interested in the Egyptian artifacts aboard and intend to drug the pilots, steal the treasure, parachute out, and then, whatever happens, happens.
The stewardess pours some sleeping drug into a coffee for the crew but some old man takes one without asking and drinks it down. Aren’t old people the worst? They have that entitlement sense and here it is on display as he just walks his old ass over and takes the coffee that was not his and now we, as the audience, are supposed to feel bad for him when he’s out cold and can’t wake up?
Sitting beside the old man is David Brown…yes, he’s “David Brown,” this time. I can understand why he would keep his first name, but why does he have to change his last name to another last name that starts with strictly Bs? Couldn’t he be David Scott or David Lee Roth? I guess they felt it worked and went with it. You are probably thinking that I’m going to bring up the “gay Bruce” thing, right? That’s because I am!
CBS thought the name “Bruce” was a gay name and they didn’t want a gay Hulk. “What if he gets horny,” one CBS Executive said during a recorded interview (or I just made that up). They were concerned that nobody would take a gay Hulk seriously. I would. I don’t care what Hulk’s sexual preference is. He strikes me as a “screw anything that moves” sort of guy.
Banner, unable to mind his own business, begins investigating and catches on to their little scheme. The Captain tells him that the drugs would wear off in time for those incapacitated to awaken and land the plane, but he knows better. That plane is crashing if somebody cannot land it. When Hulk beats the hell out of the Captain, there is nobody but Banner that is seemingly smart enough to follow directions. The tower is going to guide him in, teaching him how to fly and land a plane in just minutes.
Unfortunately, Banner cannot keep his cool and now we have Hulk flying the plane and believe it or not, he lands it!!! What does that say about airline pilots? If stupid Hulk can land a plane, then anyone can. Hulk does seem confused though and he does break some things, sending sparks everywhere, but everyone on that plane owes that big green fuck a blow job for saving their lives…beginning with the doped up old man.
Season One’s “747” is a fun episode and should have probably been called “Hulk on a Plane,” because that’s a better sale, in my opinion. That formula cannot lose. They could easily make a sequel with the Hulk on a bus. You know, somebody takes his seat when he gets up to rub one out in that small bathroom. When Banner returns, some fat guy is sitting in his spot and won’t move. Hulk comes along and beats that guy to death and then accidentally kills the bus driver, but drives the bus himself, as the Hulk, making every stop on time and bringing the bus safely back to the station. That would rule! It’s too bad that they cannot do anything good with the Hulk nowadays. Ken Johnson, the creator of the original series, needs to be contacted and asked: “We fucked up at every turn…can you make a Hulk movie?!”
As you can tell, I loved the episode. I highly recommend it.
RSR Rating: 7.5/10. Hulk fly Plane.